Blood
by cattail prophetess
Summary: Draco tries to deal with being gay. One-sided Dracovarious boys; experimental, pre-slash, and dark. R.


Feedback: Review. Please. ::puppy eyes::  
  
Disclaimer: Characters belong to JKR (well, nearly all). Some of the characterization's mine.  
  
Inspiration: "You know something I'd really love to read? A serious fic about an IC Queer!Draco. Seriously. I pick him because he's a favorite character, but also because he's one of the prejudiced characters- well, I'd argue almost all the characters are prejudiced in one way or the other- and it'd be fascinating to have that turned around on him. Preferably in a fic that doesn't pair him with Harry, although of course his obsession with Harry could have something to do with it." Posted by Enigma X at Fiction Alley Park's slash forum. I rather got away from the idea, but ah well. Did my best.  
  
Warnings: Draco is gay here. And this is just weird. There's rape and murder and homophobia and swearing. I was being experimental and it kind of got away from me. No real ships... little mentions of them, more. Cookies if you can tell me all the boys Draco likes.  
  
A/N: "Poofter" is (I think) the British equivalent of "faggot." Go wordplay! Plugging is fun, so I shall add that my fics Dark In Spirit and Ravens And Doves are referenced, and I would be joyous if anyone read and reviewed. Also, if you find the weird spelling/grammar/etc. hard to understand, maybe I'll add another chapter with it written more accessibly, with the muddling parts explained.  
  
why is this happening to you?  
  
ought to be able to do something. you've always had anything you wanted.. can't you just give the universe some gold and make it stop?  
  
it doesn't make sense.  
  
stop following him. because you do everywhere everywhere everyfuckingwhere.  
  
you can't help it. those eyes.  
  
and, you hate him. because he never bowed down to you like everyone else. because  
  
because he rejected you? right?  
  
can't you just say, (h), and make it all go away? poof...  
  
ter.  
  
but that isn't you, right? just because you care about how you look and just because you don't like his tone.. just because you want to be respected. fucking poof(ter).  
  
what's wrong with you?  
  
thereisaboylikestyrofoam.  
  
white and bursting.  
  
he swallows. blushes. but he doesn't cry. he clenches his fists. unbreakable. or maybehe'salreadybroken?  
  
you don't know.  
  
but, nl has round eyes that are gray(ish?) and when you curse and trip him he is sad. and when you lose control and start to hit, straddlingand holdinghimdown.. that's when the almosttears come.  
  
you tell yourself he doesn't notice you get hard. he probably doesn't know what it means.  
  
but, it's the closest you ever get to anyone, to any _boy_. you are tight and scratched over bare skin some nights in your dreams. sometimes it is him and sometimes it is the Other boy. and sometimes it is anyone else.  
  
when you wake..  
  
no, no.  
  
when you wake...  
  
no, no, no. sitting right here. you...  
  
when you wake...  
  
you can't tell anyone. you don't share.  
  
(hp) scratched on your inner arm.  
  
bz, ag, rd, lj, sf. once cd.  
  
no, no, no.  
  
and, no one guesses what it said. nobody ever sees. if they did, you would say: it is my motto or mnemonic device. you don't tell things where you are from. once, late at night, pansy said: dt is a mudblood, but i wish he wasn't. you and me both you said because you were tired & besides. pansy said i'll pretend i didn't hear that and you got the Message loud + clear. some mudbloods are goodlooking but no purebloods are QUEERbloods.  
  
your blood is ruler straight. so is your pain & jf's hair is not. he is a mudblood to. mudblood to what? your grandfather liked mudbl00d girlsto fuck. & squib. walking at night in hogsmeade he would find them and silencio so they would be hoarse without sound. he kept it up for years till one of the girls found him. she made him take the child.  
  
and then he didnt need to go out at night. because the baby grew. atnight,he crept into her room. lucius learned on her to. to what? mudblood to fuck.  
  
she was a half breed girl.  
  
but jf's not a mudblood to fuck. neither is dt or sf or hp. because there mudblood BOYS.sometimes you wonder if jf would say anything if you caught him in the halls after dark. he is not a prefect. you don't do it cos thats the point of no return, but you imagine.  
  
imagine being in him, magine knowing he was yours. him wanting to move but trapped. the world belongs to you.  
  
that's what you used to think, but you can't do it.  
  
you believe you are the only one.  
  
you keep believing. turpin, a halfbreed ravenclaw, finds you hurting nl. best you can do.  
  
and, if you can believe it, she's still scared. for all her macho posturing, one look in your eyes and it's like the laughs are chasing down her throat. "hey, lisa, how's your mum?" she breaks.  
  
patil bitches at you and holds her till she mends. but they're not like you, so it doesn't count. and you..  
  
imagine sliding into him. imagine him exploding with pain. imagine punishing them all, one by one, for making you feel this way.  
  
one day...  
  
the night you get the mark )he( sees inside you. and it's okay. because, one day, someday, you'll punish them all.  
  
they got cd already!  
  
bz is on your side, but jf can go. so can dt, sf, and especially... (hp). you're not sure about ag, but he and nl are muggle-lovers. lj's a gryffindor. rd, you're not sure. you have to wait. but, one day, you'll crack them all open (heh).  
  
told you you could make it go away. 


End file.
